Have any math-related humor to share? Send it to me (varecka@math.arizona.edu) and I’ll post it here.

Math and Alcohol don’t mix, so … Please don’t drink and derive!

Theorem. A cat has nine tails.

Proof. No cat has eight tails. Since one cat has one more tail than no cat, it must have nine tails.

Derivative operators

  One day, e^x and a constant are walking down the street. They turn into a dark
  alley, and a derivative operator jumps out of the shadows and blocks their path.
  "Oh no," says the constant, "He's going to turn me into nothing!"
  "It's okay," says e^x, "I'm e^x and I'm not afraid of derivative operators. They
  can't do anything to me."
  So, e^x walks down the alley and greets the derivative operator, "Hi, I'm e^x."
  The derivative operator smirks and replies, "Hi, I'm d/dy."

Teacher Arrested

At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual later discovered to be a

public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in

possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule, and a

calculator. At a morning press conference, the attorney general said he

believes the man is a member of the notorious Al - gebra movement. He is

being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

"Al - gebra is a fearsome cult," a Justice Department spokesman said. "They

desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on

tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like 'x' or

'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns,' but we have determined they belong

to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every

country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'there are 3 sides to

every triangle'."

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us

to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers

and toes."

 Integration:
 
  So, a bunch of functions decide to have a party. Everyone is there - \sin x,
  \cos x, \ln x - and everyone's having a lot of fun except e^x, who is alone in
  a corner and having no fun at all. \sin x goes up to him and asks, "Why don't
  you integrate yourself into the party?"
  And he responds...
  "It wouldn't matter.

Math Cheer:

e to the x dx

e to the y dy

sine x, cosine x

natural log of y

derivative on the left

derivative on the right

integrate, integrate,

Fight! Fight! Fight!