I love The Onion

Here's a list of my favorite articles from the best newspaper in the country, The Onion.

Raving lunatic obviously took some advanced physics

Congress adds 'All your base are belong to us' amendment to Bankruptcy bill (You'll need to know about this to get the joke).

N.S.F. study concludes: Science is Hard! (A great "radio program" clip!)

Kennedy slain by CIA, Mafia, Castro, LBJ, Teamsters, Freemasons; President shot 129 times from 43 different angles

Bush finds error in FermiLab calculations

CalTech Physicists successfully split the bill

Bush: "Our national nightmare of peace and prosperity is finally over" (note the date when it was written)

Random and amusing flash videos and clips

I love you, egg! (It's the egg song - an adorably catchy music video about eggs made by a Korean design group, www.iloveegg.com).


Ultimate Showdown of ultimate destiny (A music video featuring superheros and 80s pop-culture characters -- an incredibly catchy tune!)

ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US (An awesome music video based off of a poor Japanese-to-English translation of an older video game. It opens with clips from the game, and then craziness follows. A big hit on college campuses in 2001).

End of ze World (A hilarious explanation of how the world is going to end).

A Peter Griffin Christmas (It's that dude from Family Guy -- holy crap, look who's coming!)

A Series of Tubes (Clip from the Daily Show with Jon Stewart -- HILARIOUS and depressing at the same time. I never fully realized just how moronic some people are in Congress).

Numa numa Dance (Cute & entertaining)

Leonard Nimoy sings about Bilbo Baggins (Scary! Leonard Nimoy singing, and disturbing 70s clothing in one!)

David Hasselhoff Music Video (Wrong, so wrong! The man is a senior citizen and picking up teenagers, and worse yet, he makes a music video of it! So wonderfully bad!)

More singing David Hasselhoff (That big-ass Alaskan fur coat is so terrible! He's clearly hooked on something other than a feeling. Extremely high cheese content here)

The worst music video ever (So bad! Those outfits are painful to watch, as are the "dance" moves!)

Those crazy Japanese people

Toilet Training made cute! (Wow, I never thought that taking a sh*t could be so much fun. A talking toilet, laughing turds, and even a cheering squad when you make Number 1 or 2!)

Kitties carrying fish (A reality TV show competition -- which cat can carry the largest raw fish away? So cute, so strange!)

Fight! Kikkoman! (A twisted and mildly disturbing music video about that Soy Sauce hero -- Kikkoman!)

Dokidoki E-card (200% exciting!)

Kitties galore! (Not twisted, but insanely ADORABLE!!)

More kitty cuteness! (Even cuter than the one above!)

Video Game related stuff & clips

Epic Mario -- A 5-episode series about the characters from the original Super Mario Bros. (and the NES sequel), set in an overly-dramatic (and mildly depressing!) movie about war in the Mushroom Kingdom. Bowser and his army invade the Mushroom Kingdom, kidnap the princess, and it's up to Mario and Luigi and the remaining Toad's to fight back and destroy their opponent. If war could appear cute, it would look like these movies!

Episode 1
Episode 2 (The best episode of them all, in my opinion)
Episode 3
Episode 4
Episode 5

Work it harder! (Double Dragon meets Daft Punk - what an odd combination! I love the pixelated characters).

Zelda II: Pimp-Daddy Link (A ROM hack based on the classic NES game, Zelda II: Adventure of Link. If you, like me, have played this during childhood, you'll find some great lines here. "When all else fails, use jizz." "I am a f*ckin midget. It sux!")

Maddox kicks a$$

Some of my favorite "articles" from the Best Page in the Universe .

I just wanted a video game, not eternal damnation in hell

Unintentionally sexual comic book covers: Part 1

Racism and scat, a powerful union (hate mail)

More crappy children's art work

The movie "Signs" in four easy steps

Why stop a muppet with AIDS?

How to spot a pedophile.

Other good, random gems

A collection of favorite places & things to visit.

Best of Craigslist (I've spent hours just browsing through this! There are some real gems here, as well as just random postings).

Zug.com (A nice prankster website; check out the Michael Jackson prank!)

It must be EagleMan! (A classic Chicago commercial from the early 90s; "I've got something for you!")

That old car is worth money! (Another classic Chicago commercial; this has been airing since the late 70s, and its still on the air today, unchanged! One of those commercials that kids of all generations can recite from memory).